An unforgiving mirror

Parenthood has many joys.  In fact, my love for Busy Bee runs so deep that I'm willing to give up more for him than I ever thought possible.  I mean, let's face it:  before children many people - me included - are very self-centered (clarification should be made that I don't think everyone without children is self-centered, nor do I think that everyone with children are automatically not self-centered - clearly, that is not the case).  Busy Bee's entrance into our family has taught me to be a lot more others-centered and a lot less self-centered.  It's certainly been a slow, on-going (read: unfinished) process, but progress has been made.

There are other lessons in parenthood, though, which is why I think God calls so many of us to parenthood.  The one I've noticed a lot recently, is the one I call The Unforgiving Mirror.  As Busy Bee gets older, I can see how my habits, behaviors, and attitudes are mirrored in my little one.  Sometimes, I'm proud of that.  But other times, it's harder to watch.  It is definitely always a reminder that I need to be a good role model for my son, and that the healthy habits, respectful attitudes, and God-glorifying life that I want Busy Bee to have, I need to show him how to live. 

The other way The Unforgiving Mirror works is by showing me how I imagine I must look to God.  For instance, this very morning, Busy Bee found a stack of old VHS tapes and decided they would be perfect for building towers.  In the process, he discovered that some of the tapes would come out of the bottom of the cardboard case.  So, that became the new game.  Then the game was to put them away back in the boxes.  That turned out to be harder for Busy Bee, and he started to throw a (relatively small) fit.  He got so frustrated and couldn't handle it.  He cried, he asked for help (in a very annoying, whiny way), and he made a far bigger deal of the incident than the actual problem called for.  (Sound familiar to anyone else? )  I mean, how can I not watch that and then get convicted about acting the same way with God?  I often throw (sometimes not-so-small) fits, at least emotionally, when things aren't looking like I want them to.  And God, being a far superior Father, deals with me so much more patiently than I deal with Busy Bee.  I often try to rationalize things with Busy Bee.  "It's no big deal!  Try again!"  Or "Honey, calm down!  I'll help you in a minute."  And, while I believe God does often encourage me through His Word and through those in my life, I often feel his encouragement in far more gentle and compassionate ways than I give to my son.  I know some people will think this is crazy, but I sometimes feel an almost physical response from God.  A gentle breeze is like a kiss on the cheek.  The warmth of the sun is like a tender hug.  

Don't get me wrong:  I learn lessons, I get disciplined, and I deal with the consequences of my foolish choices.   Sometimes, though, I'm just overcome with amazement that God can use something as simple as a VHS tape and a not-quite-two-year-old to show me how far I have to go...and how patient He'll be with me along the way.