Butterflies

Oh, boy...do I have some butterflies in my stomach!  I'm nervous and excited and overwhelmed. 

Our profile is being shown to a birthmom today!

I'm sure there are adoption veterans who think I'm crazy for sharing this already, but this is my blog, so I'm going to process things how I want to and when I want to.  Besides, I want to have every detail of our process so that our little one will someday know just how I felt as each thing occurred.  This may not lead to anything, but if it does lead to bringing home our baby, I want to have it all recorded. 

Back to what I know.  The woman looking at our profile today (ours is most likely not the only one being shown) had a baby boy at the beginning of the month.  He was a few weeks premature and spent about a week in the NICU.  He's in Bethany's interim care now, being taken good care of by one of the families that Bethany works with who specifically foster infants in these situations.  He's healthy - eating, growing, and doing well. 

So, at this point, several things could still happen.  She could look at our profile and not want to meet us.  She could look at our profile and want to meet us in person.  If she wants to meet us, we'll go to Bethany to see her.  After the meeting, she could decide we are not the family she wants to choose for her baby.  After the meeting, we could decide that the situation isn't right for us.  Or, after the meeting, we could both feel peace from God that this baby boy is meant for our family and do what needs to be done to bring him home.  Our social worker said last night that, if things go at the speed she anticipates they might, this baby boy should be placed in a home in two or three weeks. 

I'm excited and thrilled to know that something is happening.  I'm anxiously waiting to hear what happens today.  I'm thrilled at the prospect of bringing home a baby so soon.  But I'm also doing my best to hold my emotions in check, because I don't want to "force" my hand in anything.  I want more than anything the son or daughter that God has picked for us.  I've said before that I am confident more than anything that in the same way Busy Bee was formed in the womb just for our family, our Baby 2 was formed/is being formed in just the way that God has designed for a perfect fit in our family.  We will be what that baby needs and he/she will be what we need.  So, if this baby boy is the one for us, that would be AMAZING...but if this baby boy is meant for someone else's family, that would be AMAZING, too.  Because God will accomplish His purpose in this baby boy's life and in our lives, I don't have to pin all my hopes on bringing this particular child home  (not that I wouldn't LOVE to have our little one in my arms). 

So...pray with me for God's will, for wisdom for the birthmom as she looks at profiles today, and for wide open doors for the family that is meant for this precious little boy waiting to go to his forever family. 

I'll keep you posted!