On Wednesday night, though, we went to our small group Bible study and it really helped put things in perspective for me. We're going through the book called Running Scared: Fear, Worry, and the God of Rest by Edward Welch. By the title alone you can probably imagine that it is a very convicting book for someone who has a lot of unknowns in her future and is therefore prone to worry. This week, I was completely amazed to read a very well-known passage in a completely new way. That sounds horrible, I know, because I shouldn't be amazed the Scripture can be used by God to convict us newly in new circumstances in our lives. Anyway...listen to this:
"Be still, and know that I am God."
I think even many people who don't believe in God or the Bible have heard that passage before. It's from Psalm 46. The first verse of that is a widely used verse, as well. It says, "God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble." So, maybe it's just that I've heard those words all my life that they somehow don't offer all the comfort they should. But either way, at first blush on Wednesday night when we read through Psalm 46, I was blown away by how God spoke through those words.
Part of it, I know, is having just read through the Old Testament and seeing more clearly than ever that the Old Testament is God's story and it's not a collection of stories about the formation and history of the Israelites, as I think I characterized it in my mind (which is embarrassing and I'm ashamed to admit). The Israelites were constantly in battle (because they didn't just do what God told them to in the first place, but that's a post for another day) and the truth of the matter is that when they were in a right relationship with God, He won the battles for them, no matter how outnumbered they seemed to be. And when they lost, it's because they weren't trusting Him. Plain and simple. Men lose battles for themselves by trusting in themselves. The God of Creation wins battles for men when they trust in Him. THAT'S the story of the Old Testament. So Psalm 46 says what? (Thanks, Bible Gateway!)
1 God is our refuge and strength,
an ever-present help in trouble.
2 Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way
and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea,
3 though its waters roar and foam
and the mountains quake with their surging. [c]
4 There is a river whose streams make glad the city of God,
the holy place where the Most High dwells.
5 God is within her, she will not fall;
God will help her at break of day.
6 Nations are in uproar, kingdoms fall;
he lifts his voice, the earth melts.
7 The LORD Almighty is with us;
the God of Jacob is our fortress.
8 Come and see what the LORD has done,
the desolations he has brought on the earth.
9 He makes wars cease
to the ends of the earth.
He breaks the bow and shatters the spear;
he burns the shields [d] with fire.
10 "Be still, and know that I am God;
I will be exalted among the nations,
I will be exalted in the earth."
11 The LORD Almighty is with us;
the God of Jacob is our fortress.
Read verse 10 again. Does the context of the Isrealites' history that I just laid out for you change that verse for you at all? Does it change the Psalm at all? Oh, man...I was so excited to read that on Wednesday night! I tried to explain a little bit to my group what I was thinking, but I think it just came out jumbled and not clear. This is what I wanted to say:
"Be still, and know that I am God" is NOT the whole verse. It's not some new age-y call to sit still and meditate on the character of God. (DISCLAIMER: There can and should be times of physical stillness in prayer and listening for God to speak to us. Just roll with me on this for a bit, and I'll explain myself.) See, before I was often frustrated by that verse. When I read it before, I think I saw it as one more way that I had to figure out a way to calm myself down. Does that make sense? It was like if I could force myself to slow down enough I could find some inspiration or motivation from that stillness. I know this sounds bad, but it's the way I (WRONGLY) interpreted that verse before. I think the rest of the verse is important to remember.
10 "Be still, and know that I am God;
I will be exalted among the nations,
I will be exalted in the earth."
So, what does this verse say to me now? "Calm down. Stop running around like a chicken with your head cut off trying to force your hand in your life. I am God. I've been in control all along and I will continue to be in control. You'll find comfort in Me when you remember how I've cared for you in the past. My name has continued to be great throughout history because I am who I am. This world isn't about all the things you try to make it about. It's about you glorifying Me, walking with Me, and trusting Me for your care. I'm not dependent on you for anything. I AM Glory and Majesty and Power. I don't need you to "give" those things to Me. I, by My nature, can't help but BE those things. So calm down. "
That's a whole lot different, huh? That's what God spoke to me this week. I love it when He does that.
So, now I'm just doing what needs to be done. I'm not depending on myself to "make it work." I'm just faithfully doing what I can and trusting God to bring about His will. That's a comforting place to be. Seriously.
Quickly - this week I had 2.5 miles on Tuesday and I ran all but about 0.1 mile of it. Then yesterday I had 2 miles and I RAN IT ALL! Yes! Tomorrow is 3.5 miles. I'm a bit nervous, but I'm excited, too, because I get to run it with Amy! Yay! Busy Bee and I are heading over to her neck of the woods this weekend and I'm so excited to be able to run a little bit of my training with the friend who inspired this training in the first place. Sweetness. Also, I get to see Leah and Karen (Amy's sisters and all friends of mine from high school youth group) this weekend and I can't wait!!
Lastly, today we should be getting our bi-monthly update email from Bethany. I'm looking forward to getting that and seeing where things stand now. I'll update when I get a chance! Now I've got things to do to get ready for this weekend! Ready....go!
Go you!! The C2K program is something I'd love to try, but am scared!
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