Still standing

Hurricane Irene came through here this weekend.  She hit us (we live just north of Virginia Beach, so, yes, we saw a lot of Irene) on Friday night and stayed through Saturday.  Sometime during the night on Saturday, she finally moved North.  Thankfully, we never lost power, nor did we have much damage to our house.  To say that we felt God was very merciful is an understatement.  Just driving around town, there are trees down everywhere and even though most of the flooding is gone, you can still see big piles of sand/dirt that were obvious flood washouts.  We're so thankful that we were spared any real trauma from this storm.  I think that God knew that I couldn't handle more reasons to wonder just what He's doing.

If you're friends with me on facebook, you know that last week we got our most recent update from our adoption agency about what's going on there right now.  To say that I was discouraged after I read it, well, that doesn't really even begin to describe it.  I will start out by saying that I know that logistical things and all of that are in God's hands and His timing for us will come about, no matter what.  But there were a few pieces of information that just threw me for a loop.

For one, the way they are going to show profiles is changing.  In the past, they've shown 3 or 4 profiles at a time, the first shown were those of the families who matched what the expectant mother was looking for and who had been waiting the longest.  If she didn't like any of those, they'd show the next 3 or 4 and so on.  Even if there were 14 profiles that matched what she was looking for, they'd only show a few at a time.  Now they have decided to show the profiles in two blocks.  So, if 14 profiles match what the expectant mother is looking for, seven will be shown first and the others will be shown if she doesn't like any of those.  If we were at the bottom of the list, I'd be excited about that, knowing that it would mean our profile would be shown more often.  But, having waited 14 months in the program that usually takes 9 or 12 at the most, and having been at the top of the list for about 6 months, knowing that our profile will be shown with MORE profiles isn't comforting to me.  I know in my heart it's not about the numbers game, but I also know that we now, instead of being chosen as one out of three, might potentially have to be picked as one out of six or seven or eight.  It's not an impossible situation, and it's not going to change the fact that the child we are supposed to welcome into our family, will still, by God's grace, get here someday, it just makes me wonder even more when that might possibly be.

The other piece of news is that they are currently working with a very small number of women who are all due at the beginning of the year.  They've seen an increase in calls to the office from expectant mothers, but they've also seen a big upswing in the number of women choosing to parent their children.  Here's where I'm going to get very real, let myself get vulnerable, and open myself up to potentially hateful comments.  There is a part of me that knows that a biological family staying intact is a good thing and I can't be sad for a child that is going to be staying with his/her biological family.  However, it seems that there is a growing phenomenon among young unmarried women that it's the "cool thing" to be pregnant/have a baby.  Shows like MTV's  "16 and Pregnant" seem to have something to do with this.  I DO NOT WATCH THE SHOW.  I cannot comment on the show itself or whether or not it glamorizes teen pregnancy/motherhood.  But I do know that there are teens who are young unmarried mothers who are on that show, who are famous, who get to be on People Magazine's cover, and who are being paid to show their lives on TV.  And none of those reasons are good reasons to decide to parent a child.  I don't know any of the women who have decided to parent their children in the last several months.  Many of them, I'm sure, are going to love their children well and give them the best and most they can, no matter how much that is financially/physically.  But.  I can't help but wonder if there is going to be an upswing in 2 and 3 and 4 year old children being put in foster care/adoptive families in a few years, because girls who thought they wanted to be one thing, realized the thing they wanted didn't have anything to do with motherhood.  I pray I am wrong about that.  But I worry.  And I worry that those children would potentially be better served by being in loving families from the start.  (See what I mean?  I'm sure some people think I'm horrible for suggesting that.)

I know that God is in control.  I know that our baby will come home to us.  I know that our wait is not over and that it could potentially be many months before our prayers are finally answered.  So, I'm deciding to rest in the knowledge that God is taking care of us and our baby, even when we don't see what He's doing.  The mercy He showed us this weekend was a beautiful reminder to me of how much God loves us and cares for us.  I know He hasn't forgotten us.

I have some race related news to share, too, but that'll have to wait.