She said...

I read a blog called 70piggies, which is written by another adoptive mama.  She is very honest and open about the process of bringing home older adopted children from another country and how complicated and sometimes just plain hard it is.

I read her blog this morning and found this excerpt, which I loved, and which made me weep with anticipation and relief and comfort.  I can't wait for that to be true of our family.  (Not, of course, the kid-getting-hurt thing.  But the response is what we are counting on and yearning for.)

thursday morning, just as we were packing up to truck over to the mister's folks, little m took a spill and smacked his head and sent us off to the hospital instead. and while i hope to never repeat that particular thanksgiving experience again, i am glad for the small gifts attached: for the time spent focused on our littlest person, and for a bit of insight into the unique workings of his body that could prove Mighty Valuable for the coming years.

and as a side note, connecting and attaching in adoption is a jungly two-way street, slow and tricky and riddled with sanity-eating plants. some of y'all are tossing around that seed of an idea that maybe you'd like to adopt, and you've emailed honest questions like but what if i never feel like he's my son? and i'm glad for your heart and glad for your questions and glad to tell you that in harrowing times when you can't spare a second to rationalize and talk yourself in or out of love and there is only space to feel, the iron jaws of panic clamp down every bit as steely whether you birthed this child or prayed him home. i'm his and he's mine.