Still waiting

I broke down this afternoon and emailed our social worker.  I know that she is good about getting back to us when she has something conclusive to report, but I couldn't help myself.  I'm glad I did, because she took a second to call the social worker at the Maryland office, who said that there have been some developments between the expectant couple and they have decided to parent the baby.

So, how am I feeling?  Strangely calm, I think.  Of course there is a little bit of disappointment that it's not our turn yet, but I'm not on the floor weeping or crawling in to bed to hide under the covers.  I am praying, praying, praying for our baby to come home and that won't change, but I'm not surprised that it didn't happen for us this time.  Why, you ask?  Well, because the next two weeks are already slated to be two of the busiest weeks our calendars have seen for a long time (and that's saying something in our household), including four days of Sweets traveling out of town, followed immediately by our 15 hour drive up north to my parents' house for our Christmas leave.  So, if I, in my flawed and imperfect vision can see that this timing would be...well...totally off-the-wall insane, I can't be surprised that God's plan is for us to wait a little while longer.

Um, don't get me wrong.  I would go through absolute off-the-wall insanity if it meant having our sweet little one home with us, but if God sees fit to keep us waiting a while longer to allow Sweets to get through the Christmas Concert season, his final and graduation of his Masters, his out-of-town trip, and all of the thousands of things that I've got to get done while he's doing all of that, I won't argue.  I'll sigh a bit and, perhaps in the comfort of my bed and my Sweets' arms tonight I may shed a tear or two for still missing my baby, but we are not without hope.  I truly believe that God has given us the desire to bring a child into our family through adoption and He will not let us wait without the promise of hope and of someday completing that good work.