Still here

Oh, dear.  It's been almost a month since I've written a post.  I can't quite say why I haven't taken the time to write much lately.  Is three young kids reason enough?

In some ways there's a lot going on here, and in some ways it's all the same.  Each day is filled with tending to the basic needs of five people and somehow managing to coordinate all of those meals and sleeping and snuggling and a few other things.  We are finally starting to come out of the post-baby hibernation.  Whether I realized it or not, there was definitely some insulating that went on during the first few months of Caroline's life - no extra activities, no adventures.  We stuck close to home and close to cribs and burp cloths and diapers.  Now that it's starting to warm up and my sweet girl is a week shy of six months (SERIOUSLY!?!  How is my baby girl almost a half a year old??), I've gotten to the point that I can realistically think about adding some things in.  Next week, Lucas is finished with his year of preschool (which should be a different post - whether or not it will remains to be seen), and I'm thinking that will be the point that we will join our local YMCA and I can get back to working out on my own and my littles can spend a short time away from me, while still in the same building.

I'm feeling good about my family and content with my children, but I often become consumed with thinking about how best to serve them.  For instance, next year Lucas will go to PreK at his current school, but we'll be moving part way through the year and he'll need something else after we move.  Thoughts of other programs, along with the good possibility of homeschooling, at least for a while.  For Levi, my thoughts are of his development.  He's not yet walking on his own (he's mastered cruising on furniture and will walk for a short time while we hold his hands), and while What to Expect says he's still within the normal range for starting to walk, he's also not standing on his own yet, which is key, obviously, in that procedure.  Along with that, he's not yet saying many words at all.  He will say "cup" or "car" when prompted and when he is willing, but there are very few other things he will consistently say.  We've been doing the "all done" and "more" signs with him for meal times, but sometimes he's even stubborn about doing those - usually when he's tired or hungry.  And Caroline is doing well, though I find myself thinking about and worrying about her for much further down the line - what kind of mothering and homemaking am I modeling for her, etc.  These thoughts fill my mind even when the house is quiet and I find myself wondering how a parent could possibly manage to have this many concerns for more than three children.   The three I have keep me pondering and praying almost incessantly as it is!

Either way, our little brood is doing well.  There are some larger issues going on in my extended family that hurt my heart,  but I try to remind myself to lean on Jesus and trust that God will never leave us or forsake us.  It is hard to see people you love hurting for any reason, but feeling the distance between us geographically and physically tends to make the emotional difficulty greater for me, because there's nothing I can do.  Particularly, I'm missing my siblings (as well as a few friends who I count as sisters) these days and wishing that we could all live near each other to just "do life" together and share the burdens this world has.  More than anything, though, it makes me yearn that much more for Heaven, for true rest, for true home with Jesus.