Bringing Levi home (Part 1)

Oh, man! This week has been a whirlwind!

I am going to write every single detail that I can remember, but I'll have to make this at  least two parts.  I hope I can write about getting the call/getting ready for Levi in this post, and then I'll write another one about bringing him home.  That's my plan, anyway.  Levi might have other ideas.  *grin*

So, Monday is my commissary day.  Lucas and I went to the gym in the morning, came home and made our grocery list and a shower, went to have lunch together, and then to the commissary.  I pulled in to a spot and got out to go around to get Lucas out of his car seat.  It was at that moment that my phone started ringing.  I didn't get to my phone in time and I missed the call.  (Can you even believe that after all this time, I actually missed The Call the first time they tried to get me!?) The message from our social worker just said that she'd like me to call her back.  I did right away.  Before I go on, let me just paint the picture for you.

We are in the commissary parking lot.  We're right next to a median, so Lucas is running around in the little bit of grass on the median.  I'm calling Rebekah and trying to make sure Lucas doesn't get hit by a car in the meantime.  Rebekah answers her phone right away.  She sounds happy I called right back.  She says, "I wanted to talk to you about a potential baby situation."  "Sure thing," I say.  In the past, this has always meant "there's something about this situation that didn't quite match everything you were comfortable with exactly, so we're checking to see if you want your profile shown."  I assumed that was what I was about to hear.  She proceeds to tell me that there's a baby boy, born on February 28, who is currently in foster care (through Bethany - they have four or five families especially trained to care for babies waiting to be placed) and she tells me a bit about his birthmother and the situation.  All of it sounds exactly like what we've been waiting for.  She says, "Is there anything I've told you that might make you hesitant about this situation?"  "No, nothing that I've heard so far," I say. 

AND THEN SHE SAYS:

"Well, how would you like to bring him home tomorrow?"

At this point, obviously, I lose it.  I'm in the commissary parking lot, one eye on Lucas, weeping, laughing, making a complete fool of myself, screaming into the phone, asking if Rebekah is serious.  She tells me that they are waiting for confirmation from the foster parents that Tuesday is actually a good day for them, but if not Tuesday, then definitely by Wednesday, we'll get to come to the office, meet our son, and then bring him home.

She says she'll call me back in a little while with more information and a set meeting time and tells me to call Daniel.  At this point, I'm on the ground, on my knees, still reminding Lucas to stay on the grass, still seriously weeping.  I call Daniel.  Amid my sobs, I say, "You will not believe what's happened."  He's terrified someone has died by my inability to even speak.  Thankfully, I quickly told him, "We get to bring our baby boy home tomorrow."  Silence.  I don't often shock my husband, but, obviously, this time, I did.  "What!?!?"  So I replay the whole conversation I just had with Rebekah and he's still completely shocked, but also very excited.  And, I should add, amazing at still keeping perspective on what needed to be done before our less than 24 hours to get ready to bring this baby boy home.  I also called my dad, not remembering my mom would be at home.  He was in a meeting, and he couldn't understand me very well, but he was excited and told me to call home and talk to Mom.

After that, I half gathered myself, still half crying/laughing, and I get Lucas at least into a cart and into the commissary.  (I really didn't want to buy groceries at that point, but I also knew that we'd be coming home with an infant the next day and we'd need food in the house, so I forced myself.)  Once inside, where I could hear better and knew Lucas was at least safe (though bored out of his mind), I called my mom, cried some more, and called a few of my best friends before I could calm down enough to do the job of buying food.  I finally did buy groceries and got them home.

Rebekah called back to let me know Tuesday was, in fact, a good day and that we'd be meeting at the office at 2:30. We'd read through the baby's birth history and the information they had on his biological family first.  At that point, we'd be able to say if any of it made us uncomfortable and we chose not to proceed.  (HA!  A little sneak peak into the post about yesterday, there was nothing that made us uncomfortable at all.  We also told Rebekah it was laughable that there might be anything we didn't already know that would make us so uncomfortable we wouldn't want to take him home.  But it's procedure, I guess.)  She also told me that his given name at birth (or, a few days after birth, it turns out) was Emry.  She told me to talk to Daniel and let her know by the end of the day what we planned to name our son. 

It was at that point, I think, that it really started sinking in to me that this was real.  We weren't just talking about a potential situation any more.  This baby boy that we were discussing was really OUR SON.  The long-awaited Baby 2!!!  We'd picked out a boy name LONG ago, actually back in 2009 when we started this process, we knew what we'd name a boy if it ended up we adopted a son.  We chose Levi, because it means "attached" and we truly believe that God has attached him to our family.  We also decided to honor his birthmom and her decision to give him life - and then allow us to raise him as our own - by keeping Emry for his middle name.

Anyway, after we got the groceries put away, Lucas and I grabbed the Baby 2 envelope we'd been saving up in since we were approved and headed to Target.  I cannot tell you how long I've waited to spend the money in that envelope for a specific child.  (I should note here that many friends offered to get whatever we needed, but I declined all of those offers.  I've been waiting too long to buy diapers and formula for my sweet Levi to let anyone else get to do it for me - at least the first time.)  Lucas and I loaded up the cart with diapers and formula (Rebekah told us what he needed based on what the foster family had been using for him, and I have to say, that was a great help!), a few brand new outfits for him (including a onsie that says, "MY PARENTS LOVE ME"), and a few more crib sheets and burp cloths and baby bath towels.  Lucas picked out a special stuffed puppy for Levi, the kind that the head is attached to a soft blanket, and was very excited to help me get all the things his baby brother would need. 

We got home and Daniel was there waiting for us.  We hugged and cried and thanked God over and over and over again.  We'd planned to have some friends for dinner, and decided it was just as well that they still come, since we wanted to tell them about everything and knew they'd help us get the nursery ready and find the things that were still packed away, like the infant car seat.  (Remember, I had baby girl stuff all set up in the nursery and I had to take it down for Levi's boy room!  And my friend Katie was right:  it was super exciting to take all the girl things down and be able to get the room ready afresh for Levi.)  I broke out the Dreft I bought a couple months ago and got to washing and nesting and our friends shared burgers on the grill and laughter and hugs and prep work (thanks, Adam, Raquel, and Juliana!).  It was a really great evening.  After they left, we put Lucas to bed and went to bed ourselves. 

We slept a little, but both woke up around 3:00 or 3:30.  We started talking and spent a few hours just processing through it all.  After two years of nights of waking up and wondering what God was doing or why it was happening this way, it was such a different night of walking through all the ways that this timing is, actually, perfect, and how God knew all along just what He was doing.  Daniel fell asleep again about 6:00 and I fell asleep again about 7:00.  We slept until about 8:30 and got up to get ready for one of the best days we've ever had.

But that'll have to wait.  This post is really long already, and my little Levi should be waking up any minute for his next bottle.  More soon!